Demonic Angel

[Stone Temple Pilots]

If I were to die this mornin’
Would you tell me things that you wouldn’t have?
Would you be my navigator?
Would you take me to a place we could hide?

As I’m fallin’ out
I wonder what I lost
Must be movin’ on
Know I’ll be waitin’ here alone

I wanna ask you to forgive me
I haven’t been the best with all that I had
Wish I’d only laid beside you
I think I spread myself a little too thin

As I’m fadin’ out
I don’t feel anything at all
Think I’m movin’ on
Know you’ll be safe but not alone

You’re the everything
That led me to believe,
“Hold on, hold on”
You’re the wonder in everything
That’s wonderful

==

Like this song a lot… not merely for the melody or lyrics, but rather because my friends were used to sing this when we hang out together, and we have a good time then… Missed those times…

Buat Toloy, Bolam, Tasya, Gaby, Dono, Skee, dll…

I found some pieces that touched me at present moment. It was written in Paulo Coelho’s book, “Like Flowing River”. Translated by Margaret Jull Costa (somehow within this book I feel the urge to let people know the bridge of his writing).

Okakura Kakuzo, Japanese poet once wrote…

“We see evil in others because we know the evil in ourselves.

We never forgive those who wound us because we believe that we would never be forgiven.

We say the painful truth to others because we want to hide it form ourselves.

We show our strength, so that no one can see our frailty.

That is why, whenever you judge your brother, be aware that it is you who is in the dock.”

Another Japanese poet, Mitsuo Aida, wrote this…

“Because it has lived its life intensely, the parched grass still attracts the gaze of passers-by,

The flowers merely flower,

and they do this as well as they can.

The white lily, blooming unseen in the valley,

does not need to explain itself to anyone;

It lives merely for beauty.

Men, however, cannot accept that ‘merely’.

If tomatoes wanted to be melons,

they would look completely ridiculous.

I am always amazed

that so many people are concerned

with wanting to be what they are not;

what’s the point of making yourself look ridiculous?

You don’t always have to pretend to be strong,

there’s no need to prove all the time that everything is going well,

you shouldn’t be concerned about what other people are thinking,

cry if you need to,

it’s good to cry out all your tears

(because only then will you be able to smile again)”

==

take a deep breath, close the book, and sigh.

Lagi dengerin solona Freddi Mercury…

Tiba2 inget bokap…

Trus buka file2 hape…

Ada foto bokap…

Trus…

…banjir.

Ada beberapa kejadia kemaren dan gw berganti2 kacamata untuk melihatnya…

1. Mo pulang abis lembur, ojek ga ada, taksi ga bisa diharepin, apalagi naek bus…

2. Sampe rumah air mati. Sama sekali ga ada air. Mana kebelet pipis, mana mo cuci tangan dan muka. Pompa rumah kabelnya bermasalah dan gw terancam ga bs mandi besoknya.

3. Badan ga berasa sakit, but very uncomfortable. Tdk painful tapi annoying dan menggangu. Terbukti panas dalam.

4. Adek gw tyt lupa melulu untuk fax bukti pembayaran net rumah. jadi net rumah diputus, saat gw hrs kirim email ke klien. ini dah kedua kalinya gw byr net yg ga masuk ke netnya. anggaplah gw dah abis duit 500rb terbuang percuma.

5. ga taw thu nasib gembul tdr mana mlm ini, scr msh kerja, dan gw sms ga dibales. ga tahan, gw tidur.

6. Ada aja gw dpt supir taksi yg ga pernah ke daerah jakarta barat mungkin yah. gw sebut2 sitenya ga tau dya. hrs jd navigator dhe.

Uwaaaa… tadi di taksi rasana mo menjerit atas cobaan bertubi2. tapi… apa gw blh ketawa ajah? however jokes built over a tragedy… jadi gw tertawa dalam hati, menjerit dlm hati, menangis dalam hati. Kata Coelho dalam bukunya, “we could only give something that we have…” jadi kl skrg gw cm bs ketawa, berarti… cuma itu yg gw punya.

Jadi? Mo pake kacamata yg mana sekarang?

Blog ini akhirnya ditelanjangi dalam semalam ma si mbul… Dibaca semuanya. Dasar manusia kampret (batman maksudna.. mirip kalong.. bulukan dikit…)

However, gw jd penasaran apa aja yg dah pernah gw tulis di blog laknat ini… Stl sekelebat brosing dikit2… Waaa… How much I’ve grown… Dari yg byk tulisan emosional, maki2 and really mean it, sampe mengkritik dgn lebih tenang dan tentunya kata2 pahit yg lebih intelektual. (Kok rasana blog gw isina negatif doang? mang film???)

Not only that actually. Terlebih cara pandang akan masalah. Semoga getting better and better, and that doesn’t literally mean that I’m getting far to old. You don’t have to be old to get wise.

Oyaa… gw sdh browse arti nightmare2 gw bbrp bulan belakangan ini… Marriage. Dan ternyata, it’s a good sign out of me.

1. It was talking about balancing the emotional and rational sides of me. Which is a good thing, equilibrium.

2. I’ve got over the past. Katanya gw sudah berdamai dengan masa lalu gw. Hmmm… dah dari dolo kaleeee~!!!

Seneng dengan interpretasinya, tapi kurang senang dengan sensasi yg ditimbulkan saat mimpi itu datang. Damn…

Back about blog… I like to write. I like to write most everything, shares everything. If one thing may less affects me, mungkin it could affect others betters. Ato if something affects me good, it could affect other as well. Somehow, experience is not only things happen to you that counts, but also others’ stories. So by writing, I’m trying to share the beauty of the world by my eyes. Maybe it will help people, as many others’ writings had helped me.

Ya oloh.. ini tkg ojekna lama beud… mo pulang…

Tp untungna ditemenin bang robert plant dkk ^______^ LedZep mantabh yah joooo!!! dah lama ga dgr… trus dgrin U2 akustikan… beuh… apalagi dtambah Gene Simmons dkk akustikan… hadoeh… ga pengen pulang… BOONG DENG!!!!

Gw mo tiduuuurrr!!!

…

(dah mati gaya)

arrrgghhh!!! Buat kesel neh lama2…

… tanggal 14 Oktober 2008.

Hari Selasa.

^_____^

by Benny Andersson & Björn Ulvaeus

I don’t wanna talk
About the things we’ve gone through
Though it’s hurting me
Now it’s history
I’ve played all my cards
And that’s what you’ve done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That’s a destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I’d be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all.
The loser has to fall
It’s simple and it’s plain.
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don’t wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You’ve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all…

Someone dear…
Takes it all…
The loser …
Has to fall…
Throw a dice…
As cold as ice…
Someone way down here…
Someone dear…
Takes it all…

==

As you all might know, itu laguna ABBA… dengerin lg stl ntn MammaMia. How Merryl Streep nyanyiin dalam movienya bener2 menyayat hati.. ky tukang jagal… somehow representatives? Yet to come might to be…

The winner takes it all…

Bayangkan tiba2 ada lelaki datang dengan gitar akustik, kemudian bernyanyi seakan2 mengerti dimana kakimu berpijak saat itu… melihat dari kacamatamu… paham perasaanmu… detak jantung yang pula seirama… menyanyikan lirik yang tak mungkin kau ucapkan saat hatimu menjeritkannya…

BUKAN! Dya bukan bencong ngamen!!! Grrr…

==

MILK TEA

(Fukuyama Masaharu)

“gomen ne”
doushite sunao ni ienai n daoru
“arigatou”
hontou wa ne itsu demo omotteru
kuchibeta na toko sei ga takai toko
kirai ja nai ka na
suki ni natte kureru ka na

ai shitai anata ni aitai
ima kono mune no oku de sakenderu yo
ai sareru ashita wo yume miru
mou kono kokoro zenbu anata no mono
anata dake no mono

“baka da na”
warate tama ni shikatte kureru
“ganbare”
honki de ne hagemashite kureru
watashi kanashii koi wo shiteta koto
shitte iru kara
anata yasashiku suru no ka na
demo daisuki yo anata ni aitai
mata nemurenu yoru no owaranai inori
oshaberi shitai te wo tsunaidari
konya yume de aetara ureshi sugite
naite shimau ka mo
onaji basu tei ame no sakamichi hitotsu no kasa de
moratta miruku ti oshiete kureta uta
sono subete ga atatakakute

ai shitai anata ni aitai
ima kono mune no oku de sakenderu yo
ai sareru ashita wo yume miru
mou kono kokoro zenbu anata no mono
anata dake no mono

==

terbayang gw hanya bs semanis ituh ma FUKUYAMA MASAHARU!!!

[Gw translate nanti.. masukin ajah dulu]

Itsuka Hanareru Hi ga Kite mo

(Ken Hirai)

mahou no youna egao ni nando sukuwareta darou
te o tsunaida kaerimichi futo kokoro hosoku naru

jibun yori daiji na mono te ni suru no ga shiawase da to
oshiete kureta kimi wa boku o tsuyoku mo yowaku mo suru

[kangaesugida yo waratte yo] boku no hoho o tsuneru kedo
kono nukumori ni mitasareru hodo
ushinau kowasa ni dou shiyou mo naku osowarerunda

itsuka hanareru hi ga kite mo
deaeta subete o kuyamu koto dake wa kesshite shitakunai kara
nee ima KISU shite mo ii kana?
naze darou konna ni kimi o omou dake de namida ga derun da

kimi to iu takaramono ga tonari ni iru kiseki o
ano sora wa oboete iru toki o koeoboeteru

ai no kotoba o narabetemo hitotsu niwa narenakute
kono nukumori ni amaeteshimau
ushinau kowasa o kakikesu youni nando mo nando mo

itsuka kokoro ga kowarete mo
daisuki na kimi o nikumu koto dake wa kesshite shitakunai kara
nee ima dakishimete ii kana?
doushite konna ni kimi o omou dake de kurushiku narunda

itsuka hanareru hi ga kite mo
deaeta subete o kuyamu koto dake wa kesshite shitakunai kara
nee ima KISU shite mo ii kana?
naze darou konna ni kimi o omou dake de namida ga derun da

naze darou konna ni kimi o omou dake de namida ga derun da

–

Magically your smile had rescued me many times
Holding hands become a ritual on our way back home

Even more important than myself is the happiness when we’re holding hands
I’ve told you, you’re the one that’ll make me or break me

Think much of it, please smile
Though I pinched my cheeks,
However this warmth satisfies me,
I can’t help to feel threatened by this fear of losing

Someday, if the day comes when I have to let you go
All of our meetings won’t be erased, only the pain ones would go
Then, may I kiss you now?
Why be this way? Only with the thought of you my tears would fall

It’s a miracle that I have a treasure such as you by my side
That sky reminds me the voice of you

Even if I lined the words of love, I would never be one with you
How this spoiling warmth will end
The fear of losing seems to come and go frequently

Someday, even my heart will be broken
You that I adore won’t be erased, only the things I dislike
Then, may I hold you now?
Why be this way? Only the thought of you would suffer me the pain

Someday, if the day comes when I have to let you go
All of our meetings won’t be erased, only the pain ones would go
Then, may I kiss you now?
Why be this way? Only with the thought of you my tears would fall

Why be this way? Only with the thought of you my tears would fall

–

*jleb!jleb!jleb!*

–